Farewell Casa del Mierdo Agujero / The End of an Error

You may have noticed that blog entries have dried up somewhat recently. That's because not only have I been insanely busy but also because I moved out of the Quinoa Situation. Yes, I am free of the bogan infestation that was the source of such amazing material and such blistering stupiditamazingness. I have no regrets. Some good stuff has been happening in the little while between posts, like I have been working almost non-stop at various jobs. The handyman thing is going ballistic because Perth seems to be short on people who want to work for less than $150 per hour in the mines, so I'm taking it all. Over the break I worked at a few music festivals, which was great fun, especially doing the overnight Help Pod shifts at Southbound. This was excellent kangaroo-chasing fun but it was most fun because of the people I went/worked with. We had an amazing boss who was just a panic merchant and made it all hilarious (for us). Some great stuff happened there like the time she left her key in her buggy and some randoms stole it and fanged around the campground in the middle of the night. Also when a decent-sized kangaroo got in and was jumping on tents and I had to chase it out of the campgrounds and was just being a smartarse over the radio. Also the final morning when everyone was leaving and a lot of tents and other random things got left behind. Like this!

I've also had work as an MC for a burlesque troupe and now work a couple of nights a week in a cocktail bar. So there is money to be made. Which has allowed me to purchase this Ute!

I feel so manly. And it has WA plates, so hopefully the cops will stop pulling me over all the time to ask how long I've been in WA and how long I intend to stay and then telling me that I really should get my license changed over. (This has happened 3 times in the other car)

The other good news is that I have moved to a place called Wilson, which is only about 20 mins from the city (although further from the beach than I would like to be, although it always reminds me of the movies Dennis The Menace and Castaway, which is fun). I have moved in with two young, good looking, cool people, so we have got a lot in common. It is a BIG difference. Fucking hooray.

Some crazy shit had been going down in the house over the break but I'd been too busy/tired to write about it. Here is an abridged list of things I should have taken better notes of at the time.

Cancer Girl and her boyfriend broke up and he moved out. It was very shouty but at least it was quick. He was pretty much gone the next day and then she was instantly back to texting a seemingly never-ending parade of dudes who were willing to come over at 11pm and have sex with her. Also, she was drunk a lot more often, which meant she was shouty and wrong even more than usual. Like how she thought that going out with a person who was 1/16th Aboriginal meant that was allowed to call him her "N" word. Except she didn't say "N" word, she said the actual word. When she was told that I was moving out she repeatedly called me a "faggot". I asked why leaving a shithole made me a faggot and she said "because who wouldn't want to live with two fuckin hot sluts?". I rest my case.

My favourite thing about C-Girl was that she had been ordering wigs off the internet and wearing them. Which is amusing because she hasn't started treatment yet and STILL HAS ALL OF HER OWN HAIR.

My landlord had some excellent online adventures too. Firstly she had MASSIVE dramas with her friends on Facebook, most of whom have now unfriended her (and no I am not FB friends with this person, she TOLD ME ABOUT THEM). In the bits I heard while mentally humming "la Cucaracha" to try and drown out her droning, I heard that it "wasn't even her fault", something to do with someone else's husband sending her illicit text messages and finally resulted in her telling me she was being used as an "escape goat", so that was a gigantic win. She had also found her husband (separated) on the dating site "OKCupid". She was outraged. What I wanted to know was how she had found him... perhaps by being on the site herself? And then I really wanted to know what his profile would say. Do you like Peen-a Coladas? Gettin' fucked in a drain?

Another day, we were discussing being artistic because she had painted this amazing picture that looked like vomited blocks of lego drawn by a colour-blind child depth perception issues. The conversation about artistic-ness led to her telling me that her ex went to school with Tim Minchin and basically taught him how to play the piano. We were talking about performing (well, she was talking over me about performing even though she has never set foot on a stage) and she also told me that she had always planned on going to WAAPA but had never gotten around to auditioning. Then she said she was once asked to audition for Home & Away. By who, exactly? I mentally stifled a laugh and wondered what role she would be asked to play? Moira's long-lost and far uglier cousin? Or perhaps a love-interest for Alf? The real-life embodiment of Milko?

Anyway that's all I can remember from the last few weeks of living there so I guess the blog can stop now. Unless I remember something else. So, yeah, thanks for reading. Seeya