I've been working outside of Kwinana area for the last week and a half up in Fremantle, so it has been an exciting time almost completely devoid of boganistic behaviours. I say almost because of an incident that happened when I went to get lunch one day in Freo. I was wandering around, getting my bearings in one of the many nice shopping arcades and I noticed a small crowd gathering, pointing at a man who was walking near me. The man was a menacing looking fellow, which I say purely because he wasn't wearing a shirt. It's one of the world's simple truths that the guy going shirtless in a shopping mall is not to be made eye-contact with and is to be given a wide-berth. After he passed me, I crossed the road and asked a guy in the crowd what was going on. He said that the shirtless dude had been kicking things over (tables and signs in the mall) and had "grabbed a female by the hind quarters and called her a slut. Or something". By now I wished I hadn't asked the guy anything because he was just one of those people who shouldn't be engaged with.
"Right," I said, "have the Police been called?"
"I think so, but those cunts are just as bad." So you can see what I mean.
"Good-o" was what I attempted to finish and walk away with but he kept on.
"Yeah, he walked right near me and I was gonna drop the cunt but he never started, so, you know"
I smiled and walked away, hoping to run into the shirtless menace again, who's company I would have much preferred.
Today I had a few quotes to do, which is almost always amusing because of the different homes I go into and the people I meet. And the details they are willing to go into about their lives with almost no prompting at all. Pretty much EVERYONE in Kwinana has "something". A medical issue, a mental issue, an issue with the Government/Real Estate Agent/Ex-partner blah blah blah. I never ask for details on these things, people are just happy to share. Today, a lady whose house I had to go into had issues with a number of these. She started off by telling me that the reason the house is such a mess is because she has been in hos[ital for the last few weeks getting her next series of skin grafts. I didn't ask why she needed them, so she told me anyway. Apparently she "picked up a bug" that causes her to get infections on any scratch on her body. I said "Ew, sounds nasty" to which she replied "Don't even get me started"
Believe me, getting her "started" was the last thing on my mind. Actually, I'm pretty sure she had already started. Whatevs.
Then she told me that the last Handyman to be sent around was the "cheapest cunt they could find", but it didn't surprise her because her landlords are "a big pile of lesbians who have no interest in spending money". She told me that they routinely do "drive-bys to measure the length of the lawn and they get out and measure the bush to see if its been trimmed". Then she laughed and said "And if there's one thing lezzos know about, it's bush".
So yeah, I was pretty happy when I got to leave.
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